Five Years
by bubblezbuzz
Summary: Five years. 1826 days and one mistake. Warning: I've only watched the movie and this fic most likely does not fit in with any canon storyline. I apologize in advance.


A/N Inspired by Blinded-Kit's **Suffragette City** and section of Clint Barton/Hawkeye and Hermione. I apologize if it's choppy. And this is AU. Also, if you find any mistakes in my spelling or grammar please let me know. Thanks

* * *

She was polite to him. Well, polite was stretching it a bit. Everyone noticed it, even Fury. He had tried to talk to her, tried to explain himself. But she always managed to escape his attempts. When he finally confronted her she had snapped at him. She hit him and screamed at him. He didn't do anything to stop her. He deserved it and he didn't deserve her. He asked her what it would take to earn her forgiveness. She laughed hysterically and for a minute he thought she had gone mad. She told him she would never forgive him even if he died.

After that he avoided her to the best of his ability. And when he saw her with Banner or some tech he shoved down the spike of jealousy. He had no right to be jealous.

He hadn't noticed it but he had closed himself off, even from Natasha. On missions he had become reckless. One time he had jumped off a ten story building and at the last minute had released his grappling hook. It had gotten so bad that Fury had suspended him from missions. That didn't work out well and Fury put him on low risk missions.

A shrink was recommended and even ordered. But he always found a way to skip the sessions. That was until he woke up in the hospital bed from a mission in North Korea. She was there. For a brief moment he allowed himself to hope. "They asked me to talk to you. They begged and badgered me until I said yes." His hope deflated. "So here I am. They want you to go to the shrink. And I'm asking you to go."

She left and he went to the sessions. The first one he didn't say anything. He didn't want to. But when the shrink mentioned her he couldn't help but react. He confessed what happened five years ago. He confessed what he did to her. The shrink listened and scribbled down on the clipboard. The shrink suggested that he try to move on. But he couldn't. He didn't want to. He needed her and she didn't need him.

That was what all the future sessions were about, her. He wasn't making progress. He nearly died from another mission from a careless mistake. He didn't make mistakes. Well, he never use to. His shrink had been there when he woke up and declared him a 'reckless, love sick fool and there really wasn't any cure for him.'

The sessions still continued and so did his behaviour Well, his behaviour got worse if that was possible. He began drinking. When he woke up, he drank some more. Fury had banned him from missions and barred him from the mission control. So he just drank some more. She had left three weeks ago.

The shrink asked if he still loved her. He managed to slur out that he would always love her. The shrink told him his love wasn't healthy. He promptly shot back that it was better than nothing. And, of course, he ended up in the medical centre again. This time was from alcohol poisoning; which wasn't all that surprising. This was because she was back on-base.

It was in his next session that he learned that he had shown up in front of her rooms crying and accusing her of compromising him. And then she slammed the door of the shrink's room open. She ignored the shrink and yelled at him. He kissed her and she slapped him. She left and he chased after her. How he managed he didn't know.

They drew a large crowd. Fury had been furious and had locked them in an empty conference room until they worked it out. He asked her again what he could do. She snapped and began to cry and scream at hm. She told him that there was nothing he could do. There was nothing that he could do to make up for the lost five years. And then they finally got to the root of the problem.

He had left her in Italy. He had promised her a life together and then he left. She had told him she loved him and he left. He argued that he was trying to protect her. But the truth was he was trying to protect himself. She turned away from him to try and open the door. But he had gotten tired of seeing her back.

He stopped her. He stopped himself from letting her walk away. He promised her the same promises but not the same. He promised to fight for her. He promised to fight for a life she wanted. He promised to fight for her heart. All he needed was a chance, just one chance.

She asked him what was stopping him from leaving again. He answered without hesitation. He told the story of seven years ago. He spoke of a young woman spilling coffee on a man. The woman had been so sorry and so flustered. They met again in a book store and suddenly they were having dinner. After that, the man had began making the woman dinner. The woman was a horrible cook despite her brilliant brain and magical abilities.

The words just fell out of his mouth as he told her of every moment they spent together. He described to her all her traits, some she didn't know she had. And when he was done he promised her one more thing. If she walked away right now, if she told him that she never wanted to see him again then he would stay away from her. But he would never forget her, never stop loving her.

She was crying by the end but she didn't move away from him. She didn't push him away when he gathered her up in his arms. He then whispered to her the three words that had haunted him. And she repeated them back to him. And then he asked her a question that had burned itself onto his brain for seven years. She choked out an answer and then he kissed her.

It had taken him five years. Five years and her reappearance in his life to realize he couldn't live without her. He would still have his doubts and his worries but he wouldn't run anymore. He couldn't run. He had learned his lesson.


End file.
